Superstar A HPBTVS Fic
by kimw83
Summary: HPBuffy Xover. Parody of the Buffy episode,
1. We need help

"Superstar" Buffy/Harry Potter Crossover Fic  
  
A/N: This is my little take on the Buffy episode "Superstar" with Harry Potter characters in place of the regular Buffy cast. It's one of my favorite episodes, and just in case you're wondering, it's from the fourth season when the gang is in college, so naturally, I made the Harry Potter gang Hogwarts graduates, and in that college student age range. So, anyways, this is my very first Harry Potter story ever written/posted, so please, review and tell me how I did. I tried to stay pretty true to the episode, but obviously had to change things up a bit. I also wrote up a cast list, to help anyone with understanding who's playing who. Hope you enjoy it, it's a hilarious episode.  
  
Oh yeah, I don't own any of the Harry Potter or Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters.  
  
Cast: Colin Creevy (Jonathan) / Harry Potter (Buffy Summers) / Ron Weasly (Xander Harris) / Hermoine Granger (Willow Rosenberg) / Albus Dumbledore (Rupert Giles) / Lavender Brown (Tara) / Draco Malfoy (Spike/Faith) / Luna Lovegood (Anya) / Ginny Weasly (Riley Finn) / Lord Voldemort (Adam) / Neville Longbottom (Graham Miller) / Peter Petegrew (Adam's Lackey) / Mad Eye Moody (Colonel) / Parvati Patil (Inga, twin) / Padma Patil (Ilsa, twin) / Pansy Parkinson (Helpless girl who gets attacked) /  
  
Previously on Harry the Death Eater Slayer...  
  
Harry smashes through a door leading to the astronomy tower. "Get away from me." Someone shouts. He looks up to find a quivering Colin Creevy pointing his wand straight at Harry's chest. "Okay Colin, you wanna point that somewhere else?" Harry says as he stares nervously at Colin's wand. "You all think I'm an idiot, a short idiot." Scene change... Harry is speaking. "Draco used polyjuice." Scene change... Draco is taking a hair from the head of an unconscious Harry. Scene changes... Harry is leaning against a wall. "Hey baby, you miss me?" He says in a much cockier manner than usual. Ginny looks up at him surprised. "I did actually." Scene changes... Ginny and Harry are lying in bed together and Ginny is looking lovingly up into Harry's eyes. "I love you." She says as Harry looks down uncomfortably. Scene changes... Harry is fighting with another Harry as Draco's natural appearance begins to come back. Scene changes... "You slept with him?" Harry looks at Ginny with a painful expression as Ginny looks back solemnly. Scene changes... Voldemort is addressing his followers. "I was created to kill. To extinguish the lives of anyone who gets in my way."  
  
Fade to black and let the show begin...  
  
The clouds rolled away from the moon leaving a clear night sky above. But down below, Harry Potter was being knocked off his feet and landed hard on the street, his wand recklessly falling out of his hand and rolling off to his left. The death eater he'd been dueling with raised his wand again and Harry rolled quickly onto his side as a beam of red light bounced off the spot he was just lying. Grabbing his wand he turned swiftly and threw a disarming spell at the death eater who stumbled backwards, his wand flying out of his fingertips, landing softly on the grass ten feet away.  
  
"Ron, Luna!" Harry yelled out as the two hesitantly ran up to the unarmed man and unsuccessfully tried casting binding spells his way.  
  
"Harry, another one!" Hermoine screamed as she nervously held her wand tight in her hands. A second death eater came running up with his wand pointed as a beam of light hit Harry on the shoulder sending him spinning into the air, his wand zooming out of his fingers, and him crashing back into the ground on his back with a loud thud. He hastily shook himself off and looked up just in time to see the death eater right upon him. Harry shot both legs up making hard contact with the death eaters chest and sent him flying through the air, landing hard on his side.  
  
"Harry!" Hermoine shouted as she threw Harry's wand, which had landed at her feet, over to him and he hurriedly got up and caught it as the death eater ran away and out of sight. Ron and Luna were still having trouble dueling with the first death eater when Harry clumsily threw a stunning spell at the cloaked man, hoping his aim was good. An instant later, the man went stiff and fell to the ground as Harry looked on with a sort of surprised proud ness.  
  
"Where's the other one?" He asked, looking around the empty street.  
  
"Scampered like a big bumby bunny," Ron said and pointing in the direction the second death eater had run off to.  
  
"In...there," Luna panted through heavy breaths as she pointed to a house down the street. The group ran off to the house and slowly made their way around to the back. They stopped when they saw a light coming from a small window at the base of the house. Crouching down, they all peered in through the little window , where they could see into an old basement. A group of five cloaked figures were huddled around in a circle, taking turns torturing a man lying on the floor in the middle of them. After a moment, they all stopped and lowered their wands. The man was limp and unmoving and appeared to be bleeding viciously from somewhere on his head. One of the clocked figures walked up to the unconscious man, lowering a pale, delicate hand to the blood smeared on the victim's cheek and brought their stained fingers up to their mouth, tasting the blood and letting it drip down their chin. The gang looked on through the window with hesitant, scared eyes, not sure what to do. Suddenly another cloaked figure levitated the man's body and floated him into a dirty cage in the far corner. Harry, Hermoine, Ron and Luna got up from the ground and started to walk away from the window.  
  
"I don't care if it is an orgy of death, there's still such a thing as a napkin," Ron said as they walked back around the house.  
  
"A gathering, no biggy, I bet I could do it, I mean I know I could take at least two," Harry told the group sounding a bit unsure of himself.  
  
"Yes, and then we could run for help as the other three take turns throwing the cruciatus at you," Hermoine said sarcastically, rolling her eyes at Harry.  
  
"You're right, it's too many for just us," Harry looked around the group, meeting everyone's eyes in agreement.  
  
"You know who we need."  
  
.......  
  
Loud drums banged in the background as a beautiful, white columned mansion came into view. The drums got louder as the group slowly walked through a long, extravagantly decorated office and came to stand in front of a giant wooden desk. A high leather chair facing away from them was on the other side. Harry nervously fidgeted with his hands, and hesitantly addressed the back of the chair,  
  
"Uh...hi...we have a problem."  
  
The chair slowly began to move around as the music raised to a tense point and stopped. Then it swung swiftly around as a James Bond type chord was played, revealing a small young man with sandy hair and wide eyes sitting confidently in the chair with his hands neatly intertwined in front of him.  
  
"Sounds like you could use my help," Colin Creevy said, a coy smile drawing on his lips.  
  
Cue theme song and opening credits... 


	2. Colin Yay! Harry Who?

Chapter 2 Colin Yay! Harry Who?  
  
Everyone was gathered around the dark kitchen at the Order's HQ. Harry was practicing some fighting maneuvers in the corner while Colin stood in the middle of the room, hand sticking straight out, staring down the length of his wand as if lining the tip up with an invisible foe. Hermoine was seated at the table looking over a large map as Ron walked through the door and over to Luna, who was trying desperatly to open a bottle of Butterbeer. Ron hastily drew his wand from his pocket and stabbed it into the air.  
  
"The quick-draw's about more than just speed, it's also about flicking the wand the right way," He said as he put his wand back in his pocket only to grab it once more and stab the air. "And there can also be splinter issues, it is a true test of dexterity," he continued, not noticing Luna's lack of interest with him.  
  
"Can you open this?" She sighed, holding the bottle up to Ron.  
  
"No, every time I open one of those, it explodes all over my face leaving half the bottle empty," He told her before drawing his wand yet again from his pocket and stabbing at the air in front of him with a determined look on his face.  
  
Harry was now practicing his fighting techniques with Colin, who easily dodged one of Harry's punches.  
  
"Thanks for doing this Colin, I wouldn't ask but..." he said, pulling his arms back to his side.  
  
"Hey, don't worry about it. House full of death eaters, you come get me, okay," Colin said with an uplifting smile, "box full of puppies, ehhh, that's more of a judgment call." They both laughed heartily before Colin straightened his face and brought up his arms in a defensive block and said, "Hit me!" Harry determindly threw his fist forward as Colin quickly blocked his punch and shoved one right back.  
  
"You got me," Harry laughed, and tried to hide the disappointed look on his face. "It was very...punchy," he said to try and seem more positive.  
  
"Watch out for south paws Harry, don't let em' surprise you," Colin told Harry with a knowledgeable look on his face. Harry lowered his head as he frowned.  
  
"Well, I haven't herd any rumors of any premeditated plans. It seems to just be another random death eater get together if you will," Dumbledore said briskly as he walked over to the table and took a seat next to Hermoine while everyone else gathered around.  
  
"And they say death eaters never just hang out and mingle anymore," Harry said sarcastically.  
  
"Hmm, thanks Albus. It's good to know we're not walking into an evil trap or other," Colin offered cheerfully as he patted Dumbledore on the back.  
  
Hermoine made a small squeak and everyone turned to look at her.  
  
"Oh, Colin, I've found the house on the map. It was hard to locate at first, because it's in a muggle neighborhood, but after a few locator spells and enlargment charms I've been able to pull up a blueprint of the inside of the house. Maybe we can find a safe way of getting in without being seen...oh, wait, no, there's just this one enterance through the front door." Colin bent over Hermoine's shoulder and placed his closed palm to his mouth as he contemplated.  
  
Harry spoke up suddenly with a triumphant look on his face, and he began speaking in exited tones, "Well, maybe we could make this work for us. Ya know, stake out the house, then maybe use a decoy. Draw them out, and.."  
  
"Or I bet..." He was cut off abruptly by Colin, who was now leaning over the map with his wand out, adjusting the view of the blueprints.  
  
"There, I can get in that way," Colin said with a confidant ease and shrug of his shoulders. Harry's smile dropped slightly and he looked down at the floor.  
  
"Oh, of course, why didn't I think of that," Hermoine gushed as she looked adoringly up at Colin.  
  
"I'm sure you would have," He told her, giving her a charming smile that made her blush.  
  
"I think we have a plan," Colin announced loudly to the group as he strolled across the room and picked up his cloak. "Harry, you go in first, let them get a look of the boy who lived. Ron, you..." Colin stopped as he looked down at a chessboard that was set up at the end of the table, "the nizonwintch defense..." He bent over the board in concentration and called out a command as one of the pieces moved across the board and proceeded to violently push another piece off the board and crash onto the floor. Colin picked up the small piece and placed it back on the board. "Got it in four this time Ron, you almost got me that time," he smirked and turned back to the group as Ron walked up to the board staring with a disbelieving awe.  
  
"Hermoine, Ron, Luna, you back up Harry. I'll be the surprise guest." He looked around the room at all the expectant faces and continued, "everyone, let's show these death eaters that they came to the wrong neighborhood." 


	3. Consolations and Silly Come Backs

Chapter 3 Consolations and Silly Come backs  
  
The death eater looked up from where he was sitting when he heard a sound from the front yard. He stood up just as the front door was blasted apart and didn't have time to react when a stunning spell hit him square in the chest. The three other men who had been sitting on the couch with their mouths open in shock quickly raised themselves off their seat right as the glass ceiling above the room came crashing down upon them with Colin coming down with it. He threw a binding spell at a women who had just ran in from the hall with her wand pointed at Ron and she immediately toppled onto the floor stiff. The three remaining men drew out their wands and one aimed his at Harry but before he could get the words out of his mouth a stunner from Colin hit him in the back and he fell over the table in front of him. Luna and Hermoine gained up on of the men and Harry pointed his wand at the other and with a defiant look on his face shouted out a stunning spell so strong that the man flew backwards and slammed into the wall and the house shook, before slumping to the ground unconscious. The man dueling with Hermoine and Luna dodged both their spells and ran for the front door.  
  
"Harry, he's getting away!" Hermoine shouted across the room as Harry quickly turned to shoot a spell at him but was too slow.  
  
"Stupiffy!" Colin shouted and the man tripped over the front steps and landed in the grass in front of the house.  
  
Colin walked up to Harry, who was looking down at his shoes trying to hide the frown in his face.  
  
"I should have got that one," He said looking at Colin with disappointment in his eyes.  
  
"You got two of them," Colin offered Harry a reassuring smile and laugh, "and that second one was ready for ya. You should feel pretty good."  
  
Harry looked down at him with regret, "But I let one get by me."  
  
"Hey don't worry, you know it only matters that you do your best," Colin gave Harry a nod, like he were comforting a young child. He turned and walked past Harry and out into the front yard where he sent off a light from his wand that hovered and glowed above the house so that the ministry could come pick up the stunned death eaters and their victim.  
  
Harry followed Colin outside, "But that's just it, I don't think it was my best."  
  
Soft pops could be heard thought the yard as ministry officials apparated to the scene. Right as they stepped out of the gates enclosing the yard a sea of bright flashes and excited voices swarmed around them.  
  
"Hey Colin, over here. Quick photo for the daily prophet please." "Colin!" "Look over here Colin!"  
  
Colin paused politely in the street for a moment to pose for the numerous cameras lined up outside the gate. The lights flashed non-stop until Colin politely told the photographers that that was enough. Harry and the rest of the gang followed a few steps behind Colin.  
  
"I think we did great. We knocked em dead," Ron was grinning at the rest of the group.  
  
Hermoine looked up at him and gave him a big smile, "Well, not quite dead, but we defiantly knocked em into unconsciousness."  
  
"Well, they weren't very well organized," Luna spoke up, speaking in a very bland tone, "if they all rushed at Harry, they would have killed him right away." She finished, looking off into space as Ron and Hermoine stared at her with frowns on their faces.  
  
"Thanks Luna, that won't keep me awake all night," Harry said rolling his eyes.  
  
"Death eaters usually don't collect in big groups like this for too long, causes too much suspicion," Colin told the group like he was an encyclopedia with the definition, habits and habitats for Death Eater: all written neatly inside him. "The majority of them mostly like to stay out of public sight. Hang around all creepy in the shadows...don't you agree...Draco?" Colin's lips turned into a sneer as he said the last word and turned his view to a dark shadow moving by the bushes.  
  
The rest of the group all turned with Colin's gaze as a man walked out into the moonlight. He had pale skin that almost matched his platinum hair. He wore a snug black shirt tucked into his equally snug black leather pants and had a long black cloak wrapped around his shoulders. His smirk grew bigger as he walked over to Colin, "Well, well. The man himself." When he reached Colin, the two men began circling each other. Glaring into each other and they slowly turned.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Colin asked, his eyes narrowing.  
  
"I live on this street," Draco drawled as he held Colin with his piercing stare, "And I wasn't exactly pinning for a noisy visit from wonder Colin and his fluffy haired Potkins." Harry stepped up next to Colin and narrowed his eyes on Draco, "Yeah? You think that one up with all the time you've had stealing people's hair?"  
  
"Careful," Colin injected to Harry, "he's still pretty dangerous."  
  
"Yeah, back off Pothead," Draco said, trying to look intimidating, but not really succeeding.  
  
"It's Potter. You big, bleached....stupid guy," Harry returned, looking around awkwardly. Draco rolled his eyes and shook his head.  
  
"Draco, you're the worst type of scum," Colin uttered softly as he strolled up to Draco with a smirk, "the second you're up to your old tricks, well...let's just say before you pick out your first victim, you'll be pretty indistinguishable from, what should we say..." Colin's grin went flat as he lowered his voice, "instant soup mix."  
  
Colin walked off without a second glance and the rest of the gang followed, leaving a sneering Draco glaring at their backs. 


End file.
